Finding Words
This post was published on April 19, 2017 on my old blog, samplesizedwriting.wordpress.com
It may come as a surprise, but I still remember my password to my blog! Yeah, it's been a while. Over two months, a while. Why so long, you ask? Well, I've been busy. College gives you a lot to do, believe it or not. Also, that whole "letting life be" philosophy I wrote about in my last post brought me to a new person I've spent a lot of time with in the last couple months on top of my already-kinda-busy social life with my friends. But, I've also been struggling to find things to write about.
See, it's not that I don't have ideas. I do have ideas. It's just that a lot of my ideas are personal, and that's kind of scary. I suppose a lot of writers face that fear of opening up in their work eventually, but it's just kind of a tough hurdle to jump over.
It's not like I haven't already posted personal writing on here. I have a whole page dedicated to poems I've written for crying out loud! But, that feels different to me. It's true that some of my poems' subjects are not so subtle, but at the same time, poems can be left up to interpretation and they don't feel like I'm coming right out and telling a story about my personal feelings and experiences. Rather, poetry feels like I'm making a kind of art with experiences and feelings intertwined in it. If I write just, say, a blog post, it's much easier for people to know what I'm talking about. That's somewhat scarier. Especially because I don't really know who is in my audience.
But, I suppose fears have to be faced eventually. I will write about more personal things and be more direct about it because it'll be a way for me to 1) get my feelings and experiences out there and 2) allow myself to grow as a writer and as a person. In the meantime though, you'll just be getting this sort of shallow post about me being afraid to post (sorry).
I will do my best to be more active, more for myself than anything else, because I really do feel like writing and posting is one of the real ways I'll improve as a writer. And there is a warm summer light at the end of the tunnel, as my freshman year of college will be coming to an end (!!!) in about three weeks, and then I'll have a few months of sweet, sweet freedom where I'll have more time to post here (and feel bad about myself if I don't since I won't have any good excuses).
Hopefully I'll muster up the courage to post something more insightful in the next week or two, and in the meantime I'll be sorting through some personal things and academic stress. I am still trying that "letting life be" philosophy though, as it hadn't really let me down yet, so maybe that'll help me out some. Main message of this post? I guess it's keep trying to make yourself better, even if it scares you. Work through your fears and concerns, and then overcome them. Have courage.